When I was a child, I didn’t want to be famous But a face in the crowd was a path I hated to travel And so, I desired to entertain behind the curtain And soon, an audience flocked to my machinations Sometimes I wonder if there was another way To pour out my soul without losing it to others But I see that isn’t what you wanted Because you desired what I had A laugh, a grin, a chuckle and a tip I work for nothing but your satisfaction And in my heart, I know that it matters Even if my face doesn’t. My life is in your hands And his hands, and her hands It’s just not in mine, and I think I’m okay As long as you don’t forget me I’m not here anymore But I’ll be around even if I can’t sense myself You’ll see what I can no longer Because you have my smile. And I wish I could have it back.
Today I decided where I want to die
It’s a beautiful place, and I don’t know why
I didn’t think of it sooner.
I wish I could describe it to you in a way that made sense
But I can’t put this feeling into words and I know you wouldn’t want me to.
I’ve built a little plot near the ground
So that everyone all around
Could see that I chose this place first.
It’s a marvelous display that I won’t cherish
But I imagine you all would appreciate it.
A melancholy mood for the best
As my body lays to rest
In a decaying slumber.
A small crowd remembers for a while
But time heals all wounds, unable to griev
The hardest part about growing up
Is not the fact that you have to
But the realization that you didn’t need help doing it.
You’ve been molded by community
Guided by impunity
Tested your ability
And yet
Time moved on without a hitch.
I can’t finish a sentence without recollections of promises
The dreams of my youth
With the pain of regret
And yet
Time moves on without a hitch.
So I’ll resolve to involve
My past lessons into my future
A mixture of melancholy memories
With renewed hopes and desires
I wish my life inspires
And yet
Time will move on without a hitch.
On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder?
At what age did you decide the world was too cruel
And your visions were incompatible with this earth?
Why did you grow up?
What did your house look like
When you abandoned your lofty hopes for the future?
Did you keep them boxed in the attic
And wore the skeletons as a trend?
Did your neighbors know you once bubbled
With the plans you had on the tip of your tongue?
Or did they move out because they found
Something better outside the town you lived?
On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder
And where, may I ask, can I find it?
I quite need that childish optimism
I
We don’t want to be bothered by the world that frightens us
For the outside is dangerous and harmful for our minds
I’ve shut us out of everything that reminds us of the past
Because the only thing we have is each other.
The windows are sealed, for we do not need them
And they’re blind to the things we have experienced
We’re slowly suffocating in this labyrinth we created
But in time, we’ll get out of it soon.
They don’t understand the problems of opening up
And seeing your life in ruins
Picking and prodding at the things that make us unique
There is beauty in the reserved.
We can never return to a place